Sometimes You Piss Me Off

The term "Single Parent" bothers me. Single refers to my relationship status and has nothing to do with my parenting. If we attached our relationship status to everything that may be relationship related I feel like even Zuckerberg would have issues making a drop down box big enough for all the possibilities.

Parenting Status: It's fucking complicated!

I prefer the term "solo parent", it really just makes more sense. Plus it's less complicated when life changes. Most people I know who have kids, have kids with 2 parents. Together, separate, battling each other, on again off again but there's always 2. You are dual parenting. Step-parents? You are multi parenting. See how much easier this is?

Now, moving on to why I'm pissed off and how it relates to solo, dual and multi parenting.

I hear people saying things like "single parenting today" or "spouse has a business trip next week, how am I going handle my kid(s) all by myself?!" and seriously? It makes me angry. You know how you're going to do it? You just are.

You are not "single parenting" (unless your spouse is leaving you). You're not even solo-parenting. You are watching your own damn kid(s). Stop making it sound like you are completely incapable of parenting all by yourself. You are still dual parenting. If the house burns down, the kid explodes or you end up half dead at the side of the road, there is someone who will rush home to make sure your kids are ok. That's the advantage of dual parenting!

Then I hear things like "Can't wait until Dad gets home so I can have a break" or "Moms turn to do bed time" and I think to myself, at what point did parenting become a job that has a "break"? Do you also get a lunch and vacation pay?

I get it, parenting is fucking frustrating. Kids develop this thing called "thoughts of their own" and "free will" and make us bananas but think before you speak, please. PLEASE! Contrary to popular belief there are a lot of kids who have two parents that are still together and every time you make a comment about how difficult it is to be alone with your kids it makes those of us that do it every single day incredibly annoyed. Pissed off even.

It's not a compliment. I know you think its a compliment to our parenting capabilities, but really, its not. Doing what is required of you in life and having people point out that its hard constantly just makes it harder. Why? Because now were thinking about it constantly. As an example, its like saying to a blind person "I don't know how you live your day to day life because you're blind." You just do what you have to do.

So next time you're all by yourself with your own children and are about to make a comment about how hard it is to be alone with your kids for a few days, think before you speak.

Who Mothers The Single Mothers?

I'm a single mom. This in itself doesn't bother me. I actually kind of like it. There's no one to answer to and I parent how I choose. It's completely within my control. Ok so I kind of love it actually, I hate answering to anyone lol.

It also means however that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, I'm on. Its the Mommy show. Yes, my mother takes my daughter sometimes and I get out but reality is that Monkey is my responsibility and no one elses. Bringing me to todays question...

Who mothers the single mothers?

You always hear people talk about reminding Dads and Husbands to get a card and gift for the mother of their child, but when theres no other half and your kids are too young to understand or participate in whats going on, well, Mothers Day can be kind of depressing to be honest with you. It's just another day of doing what needs to be done. Making dinner, cleaning, attempting to shower and kissing boo boos.

I'm not complaining, really. I didnt become a mom so that once a year someone could make me dinner and buy me flowers, plus my mum is really good about making sure I get a little something from the baby. However I really can't wait until the day Monkey comes home with noodles and glitter glued on a heart shaped piece of construction paper. I will cherish those works of love and art as a true gift from the little person who made me a mother.