Rebutting My Own Life

I don't usually rebut my own posts, but after some emails I have decided to clear up a few things about my life and the system.

- My daughter does not want or need for anything. She is never without food or clothing or a roof over her head. I would sell everything I owned and body parts to make sure this didn't change.

- I have been very busy and out a lot lately. My daughters new found attachment to me has more to do with being at daycare full time then me being out after shes already gone to bed. The few times I have been away multiple nights, she has been with family who love her and whom she loves.

- When I say "If I stay home I will die" this isn't me exaggerating to make a point. I have a severe anxiety disorder that if I allowed myself to stay home I wouldn't leave. My agoraphobia would kick back in and spiral me into a massive depressive episode that would no doubt end badly.

- The amount of money I spend going out in a a week is probably much much less then people think. I am lucky enough to have wonderful friends and a good nose for coupons.

- My monthly bills are 80% based on income. I have been blessed enough to have geared to income housing, different subsidies and discounts. This is wonderful however its also a curse. Currently I can scrape by on my $1000 a month income. If I were to get a job, the ones I would qualify for would be at minimum wage or just above. This would raise my income. A raise in my income would also mean a raise in my bills and cost of living. It would actually leave me worse off then I am now, and not with my Monkey as much as I am now, and I would be unhappy - All The Time.

- My #1 priority in my life is my Daughter. Beyond her physical needs, I am desperate to show her that the world is a wonderful place with amazing people. That dreams come true and good things happen to good people.

- I appreciate all the love and encouragement I get. The wishes and love and support. I also appreciate the realism. The contrary thoughts and opinions. They make me re-evaluate my thought patterns, often pushing me in new directions or past the point of where I thought I could go.

- I have a mental disorder. I have multiple mental disorders actually. I deal daily. I push through daily. I have some days that are god awful and I question everything I have done in my lif4e and wonder if the space I occupy could be better used by someone else. It happens. I will tweet, facebook, blog about it. This isnt going to change.

I am more then willing to answer any questions about my life. I don't live in the shadows. I applaud those willing to step up and put their thoughts out that might be against the grain of the popular opinion, I am one of those people. However if you're going to contact me anonymously and bash me, please be aware that next time I will post your email. I think the world should know your opinion. If you have the balls to be an asshole, please do so in public, I'd hate to be the only one to know of your unique "gift".

Why I'm Going To Lose My Womanhood Card (or My Most Un-Popular Opinion Ever)

Friday the Supreme Court of Canada ruled that unconscious women can't consent to sex. My immediate thought? "No shit!"... Except then I actually read why it was up for debate and (let the hate mail begin) I disagree in this case. (Quick synopsis, woman asks to be choked during sex, man agrees, woman loses consciousness, man continues sexual activities.)

So here is why I disagree.

1. The woman didn't report the incident until their relationship broke up and he made an attempt at custody of their child. Now come on woman! That's just a low blow. If he had made a claim of spousal abuse after she tried for custody the whole world would have called bullshit faster then you can say "dirty play".

2. This couple was into a little bondage and s&m, which is totally cool, we've all been there or known someone or whatever. Either way its their choice what they do in the bedroom. So she asks her man to choke her to the point of unconsciousness for her sexual pleasure, ok, fine. Her man agrees, presumably for his own sexual pleasure.

Do we see where I'm going with this folks? At this point I'm making an assumption that she gets off on a little pain. Ever accidentally choked yourself with a scarf in the winter? Its not exactly pain-free. So any way...

Her man decides while she's unconscious to continue their sexual activities. Probably not the brightest thought he's ever had, hell it probably was the stupidest decision he ever made, and I would probably be pissed too if I was her. Obviously I am well aware of the fact that a woman who is out cold can not consent or revoke consent, but come on. This isn't a case of him drugging her and having sex without her knowledge. They were in a sexually consenting relationship, that involved erotic asphyxiation and they were in the process of screwing around. I don't know anyone who is in this kind of relationship (and yes I've known a few) that the woman ASKS to be choked and doesn't expect her man to get off too. Do you think she thought "Oh good, he can choke me until I get off and pass out and then he'll just roll over and go to sleep like a good little puppy". If you are going to ask to get choked, do you not think it would be smart to discuss what is and is not ok for AFTER YOU PASS OUT?!

I am not by any means encouraging anyone to choke their partner and then continue with their own agenda. It's stupid and wrong, but illegal? It's like parachuting and then suing the company you parachuted with because you landed and didn't keep soaring majestically once you decided it was a thrill.

So yeah, Supreme Court of Canada, I know you don't give a damn what I think but I disagree completely with your decision.

General Reading Public, here is my advice to you. If you are engaging in an activity where you might become incapable of voicing an opinion for whatever reason, DISCUSS ALL ASPECTS IN ADVANCE! Hell if you are having sex period, discuss it. If you can have sex you had better damn well be able to talk about it. If you are not comfortable talking about sex and sexual activities, YOU SHOULD NOT BE HAVING SEX. There is a maturity level involved in sexual activity that you need to be able to deal with.

Suddenly I've turned this post into a PSA about safe sexual activities. Reality is though, people don't think about sex enough outside of picturing people naked. So I leave you with my quick list of how to stay safe.

1. Use protection - this should be a no brainer, it's not. Condoms, they arn't just for carrying in your wallet and giggling about.
2. Get tested - How hard is it to get a blood test in between partners? I know I don't feel like getting sick or dying, do you?
3. Talk about sex - Don't be shy, don't be ashamed, don't hold back. You want to be having great sex, you need to talk about it. The good, the bad, the ugly and the "if you do that, you will never touch me again".