Brain Gone Mush

The past three weeks I have had probably close to 90298432 blog posts float through my head. Sadly none of them have made it here.

17 days.

It has been 17 days since my life was turned upside down and inside out.

17 days ago I was just a girl telling a story.

Today I am an organizer of a philanthropic kindness organization that is blowing up effectively making me the worlds poorest philanthropist.

I am a professional woman attending conferences, receiving job offers and requests to come speak at events.

I have people standing behind me, pushing me, supporting me, advising me.

Im working constantly, sleeping rarely and keeping up with my house work, never.

I am talking to designers, PR firms, web gurus, and friends.

I feel like i'm finally going to change the world.

Why do I feel like I am saving the world and can't save myself?

Why does everyone have such faith in me and what I'm doing and yet my personal life is not getting any better.

If in less then 3 weeks I can start changing the world and accomplish so much, then why am I still penny pinching for food and diapers? Why can't I keep up on my own home? Why do I feel like I'm not giving my daughter enough?

How the hell am I supposed to make this work?

I am so blessed and fucked at the same time. Its like that feeling when you're drinking that you know you're having a great time but you also know the next day is gonna hurt.


  1. I think you'd be surprised by how much company you have. It's so much easier to save the world than it is to save ourselves.

    And remember, nobody struggles online. ;-)

  2. Penny pinching with you lady! Trust me! Let's just have faith . OK?

  3. Love it girl. You earned it. Nothing is easy.

  4. Hey lovely...

    As Chris said, it is very often much easier to save others than to save ourselves. You are very courageous to share this on here. I open up a lot, but not this much and I admire you for that.

    If you ever want to chat/bitch/whatever you know where to find me! xo

  5. Oooof! I totally know how you feel. You're not alone. xo


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