Seems like such a short time ago I gave myself a year, a year to do what I felt was my calling and make something of myself.
I dreamt of stages, music, enlightenment, education, awareness and changing the world. I dreamt of never eating ramen noodles as a meal, buying new mattresses and a back yard for my daughter. I dreamt of bills that were paid, cars that ran and a mind that was happy and focused.
That was a year ago.
This year has been full of indescribable things. I flew alone to NYC. I made amazing friends. I saw great loves come together, I saw great loves fall apart. I had my heart broken. I sang on stage to an audience in New York City. I had blue hair. I spoke candidly about my life with mental illness. I sent my daughter to kindergarten. I saw the best of humanity. I saw the worst of humanity. I learned that sometimes words are useless but other times they will save lives. I've had 3 cars. I was hurt by people I thought would never hurt me. I hurt people I'm sure. I co-orchestrated a fully sponsored Christmas for a shelter. I gave away hundreds of dollars. I learned, a lot. I laughed. I cried. I yelled. I smiled. I hugged, a lot.
In a little over 11 hours I turn 29.
My chariot returns to its former pumpkin glory. My gown to rags. My horses to mice.
There's no Prince Charming though. No one to find my glass slipper. No one will tell me I don't belong in the pumpkin world, that I have a castle waiting.
It's time to face the truth. Social media does a wonderful job of masking reality. Of telling you how special you are. How much potential you have. How amazing your life will be if you just put some work in to it and believe.
Like someone sprinkled a fine mist of Disney dust on everything. Bad things will happen but, if you...
Love with all your heart
Believe with all your soul
Work will all your might
... everything will end, Happily Ever After.
Truth be told, some of us arn't destined for a Disney ending. We've made too many mistakes. Missed too many opportunities. Just arn't bright enough, to make something wonderful happen in our lives. We must come to terms with our averageness. It's not a bad thing, it's just reality.
Not everyone can be great, or we wouldn't know the ones who are.
Thank you to those who took this amazing journey with me the past year. I will never forget the things I've learned, experienced or felt. It's all because of each and every one of you I got this far.
And with that I'm off to find something to replace this glass slippers. Their time is nearly up.
Bibbity Boppidy Boo