Sadness, Being Depressed and Depression - Do you know the difference?

Yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. I am sad. Horribly, painfully, heart wrenchingly sad. I feel like I've been punched in the gut. No he is not an evil monster or an asshole, he is still the incredible man I fell in love with. Brilliant, beautiful and passionate. This in itself makes me more sad. I am hurting and even the thought of Adele songs is making me weepy and increasing that horribly empty feeling in my chest. This is sadness. I am sad.

In the states a young man was shot and killed by a neighbour. The only thing the boy did wrong? He wore a hoodie to the store, was black, and walked in front of a over zealous neighbourhood watch persons house who happened to be racist. Trayvon was shot for wearing clothes while black. This depresses me. It is depressing that we live in a world where that kind of hate still exists. Being the mother of a biracial baby it also scares me. Terrifies me in fact. Trayvon could easily have been a relative, a friend, a mentor, a colleague or my beautiful girl. I am depressed about how Trayvons death is being handled and I am depressed that Trayvon lost his life. This is being depressed. I am depressed.

Last night I came home and took my medication cocktail. Anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication. I have a mental illness, more then one actually. My brain misfires and the chemicals often are imbalanced like a grade 7 science project gone wrong. I have depression. It is a medical condition. I can't "snap out of it". My highs and lows are intensified. I often feel overwhelmed by emotion for no reason. I have vivid nightmares and confusing thoughts. I twitch, I have both racing and slow motion thoughts. I will be medicated for the rest of my life and I am ok with that. I will have good days and bad days that I do not control. This is depression. I have depression.


  1. sorry to hear this, Jodi! crappy. But, as you say, high highs could follow this low any day now. Great things are around the corner for you. And Trayvon's murder is an outrage to everyone. What a ridiculous waste. Chin up, Jodi! you'll be ok. Hug your monkey ;-)

  2. Life is difficult ... More so for some of us. Sorry about the breakup. You are amazing woman with passion for life - love yourself. The sadness shall pass. Hug and enjoy your daughter and appreciate being you.

  3. From one Jodi to another, I am sorry you are feeling down. I suffer from bipolar depression, anxiety disorder, bpsd and a few other mentalities... another thing besides our name we have in common. Actually I saw your pic and thought it was me for a sec, we kinda look a like lol. Keep your chin up, write your heart out and scream into the pillow the world won't hate you for it!


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