As a perpetually single lady on the dating scene I've had the opportunity to observe many different types of daters. While laying in bed the other night once again not sleeping, I realized that daters and dating very often mirrors everyones favorite flying heroes, the Angry Birds. Yes folks its true... Come meet every possible date you could have as portrayed in Angry Birds.
- The Yellow Bird - Starts off at a nice pace but give one signal and they fly into over drive speeding into things.
- The Blue Bird - Seems great until something needs doing then BOOM split personalities!
- The White Bird - Flies along easily and then suddenly drops a bomb you didn't even see coming.
- The Boomerang Bird - Wonderful, unless you want the relationship to move forward because they will suddenly turn around and regresses to teenage antics
- The Black Bird - is there an explanation needed? An obvious anger management issue waiting to happen.
All these birds flying around are trying to eradicate the memories of your previous ex's, also known as those smiling jackass green pigs who stole your eggs (a.k.a. Your youth, your innocence and quite possibly your stereo.)
Everyone is looking to find the elusive Red Bird. The one with no tricks, no issues and needs no special powers. The one who flies straight and just does what it needs to do.
So my advice to you singles out there is, if you find your Red Bird, hold on to them. They will help make your life 3 stars! /cheesy notion of romance