The Fight

So I screwed up... Going to make a long story short but here it is...

Awhile back there was a paperwork kerfuffle with my housing. Could have been me, could have been them, doesn't matter now, but it caused me to lose my subsidy for 3 months. This upped my rent to 7x more then I normally pay. Obviously I didn't have that kind of money.

We went to the housing tribunal and I managed to make arrangements to make up the back rent and get my subsidy back. However it was not retroactive so I still owed $2000+ to be paid back in monthly payments.

Last month I missed my payment. Things were hectic, my anxiety was insane and I didn't have it by the time I remembered it.

My landlord filed to have me evicted.

Successfully.

Unless I came up with the full back rent by first thing Friday morning. 3 days to come up with $1900 or the sheriff is at my door.

On top of that, the landlord called CAS and told them I was being evicted and not a safe parent. After speaking to CAS and having them in my home, my parenting is not in question however the looming eviction still makes it a possibility that they will take my Monkey from me.

My beautiful, sweet Monkey.

I am fighting. Calls are being made and I'm working my ass off to get this fixed.

This is my fault. I don't blame anyone else. I fucked up. Now I have to fix it.

I hit twitter and cried and fell apart. Realizing I needed help people joined together and are trying to help me. It took a lot from me to admit I needed help. I want to help people, not have people help me. That's in my blood, it's hard to become the helpee when you're the helper. I'm still working through the emotions of it all.

I'm scared.

Absolutely terrified. Being homeless again would be awful but losing my baby would end me. She is everything to me.

So I need good vibes right now. All the positive thoughts and love you can muster. A few of my friends have started a grassroots campaign via twitter to raise the money I need. I don't even know how I'm going to thank them. I would be so lost without them.

If you can/want to help, people are sending e-transfers to pillowmonkey@gmail.com because it's the fastest way to transfer money.

Donations are great, I appreciate them so much but your love is just as if not more important. You all read my blog and hold my hand through my ups and downs. My desperate attempts to keep my head in one piece. I can't even fathom my life without this space of healing and love. Even when I'm at my lowest I know I'm safe in this space. I thank you from the bottom of everything I have.

Now... Back to the fight.

**Update** I am actually almost half way to what I need. I am stunned. I will never be able to thank anyone enough.

Tweetstock V - Part 2: Not Chris Farias

My last post went a little off track. I can't help it, when a man smells like candy, and spreads glitter and awesome I am easily led astray. Ok so a well timed ball of tinfoil being thrown can lead me astray, I'm easily distracted, not the point.

So, Tweetstock 5, what's up with that? Well, it's a group of people coming together to inspire more people to come together through the use of social media and, well, just being social in general. Getting out into your community and making things happen.

I got a PRIMO seat in the couch row. Tweetstock 4 may have been short seats but Tweetstock 5 made up for it with giant comfy leather couches in the front row, where I happened to be sitting. The only downfall of the venue? Being in the basement of a mall almost completely cut off my network connection leaving me...

UNABLE TO TWEET! I won't lie, if I hadn't been in a room full of 3-D tweeters this might have caused me some serious withdraw issues. So I took out my ipod and rapid blogged in tweet length thoughts into my notepad. This left me with an odd jumble of quotes and random thoughts like:

"Yes I did just admit to getting lost between tweetstock 4 and the tweetstock 4 after party"

"Youre not tweeting Kevins a douch right?"

"Oh just FYI... I met AND hugged @kitestring. He smells like chocolate and awesome!"

"Real humans joke about balls"

"What's the point of social media if you arnt social?"

And then the one that stuck with me, "Nobody really knows what they're doing".

Yeah that last one really did stick with me. From

Josh Bean, founder and executive director of the Brantford Arts Block with a laundry list of resume building awesomeness. Part I loved the most about Josh? He actually was just a guy with an idea. I loved that he wasn't one of those guys who "always knew it was going to work" or "everything went exactly as I thought it would all the time". He was just a guy, standing in a store front, asking the world to love music and the arts.

It pretty much came up and smacked me in the face. Nobody really knows what they're doing. Nobody. I was sitting in a room full of people who lived a life of trial and error, just like me. Just because I may not know what Im doing right now, each and every single person in that room at one point was me. Successful, just starting out, young, old, social, anti social, self employed, married, uneducated... None of that matters, none of it, because nobody really knows what they're doing. Weird thing to be inspired by I know, but I totally was. For the first time I looked around and saw the playing field as a flat even surface. For the first time I felt like an equal. A nice surprise to have a moment like that out of the blue.

I thoroughly enjoyed the majority of the evening. Amanda Kinnard, Marc LaFerriere, David Yoon, Deb Lowther and the rest of the speakers brought intelligence, humour and humanity to a form of media that often can seem cold and disconnected.

Bringing the social media community into the streets of our cities and neighbourhoods. Making it tangible and useful for everyone. No longer just geeks and techies and computer nerds in basements, we are using social media to become innovators and propel us into a better, more connected future.

What I was looking forward to the most was hearing my friend, Jason Dykstra, speak. I know Jay as an easy-going, smart, beer lovin' Dad with a soft spot for plaid. I always knew he was a mediator, but I honestly just didn't see it. I didn't get that, you didn't need to be in conflict to understand conflict. Reality is, I'm pretty much walking conflict. I'm super easy to misinterpret and not everyone gets me (luckily I also have natural charm and smile and laugh easily at myself), but Jay has always come across as laid back and the last person to throw himself into the middle of a fight. What I didn't realise was that he wasn't just breaking up fights, he was solving puzzles. He was taking conflicts, breaking them down to their basic elements and reconstructing the pieces in a way that made them work. Rather then taking two puzzles and trying to shove them together into one picture, he takes the pieces and creates a new image. Yeah, I was blown away by Jason and seriously proud to have been the front row fan that yelled out " I LOVE YOU JASON!" before he even spoke.

Oh man, I feel like I've rambled again and I havn't even gotten to the rest of my tweeple who make my days fun and my nights entertaining. Yup... theres gonna have to be a part 3. I'm ok with it.

You're So Vain...

... ok so maybe not since this post actually might be about you. I'm not actually going to tell you who this post is about Some of you might figure it out all on your own and good on ya, but this post is for me, not you so whatev y'all!

I'm a big believer that everyone needs someone to look up to. Someone who inspires you to be a better you every day. Not someone to compare yourself to but someone who can show you how to open the windows when the doors slam shut.

I like to think of that person as a Mental Mentor (little double meaning there, can you find it?). Its not someone you fawn over or demand from, just someone who when you need it you can look at them and their life and be inspired.

My Mental Mentor i've never met. I observed her from a far for a long time on "the twitter", I read things she wrote, I watched her interact, I actually silently thought I wasn't good enough to be her friend. She has a beautiful family, talent, poise, intelligence and humour. People seemed naturally drawn to her. She also was flawed, and beautifully so. Slightly self-deprecating and vulnerable showed me that perfection lies in the imperfect.

I remember the day she started following me on Twitter. I remember getting the notification email and just about falling out of my chair. It was like a celebrity suddenly was taking an interest. I was a little overwhelmed and suddenly a whole lot shy. I didn't want to post somethings in fear that I would be unfollowed. I know, how silly right? Yeah shut up like you've never done it. Luckily for me I am completely unable not to make an ass out of myself, and I throughly enjoy doing it, turned out she enjoyed it most of the time too.

I learned over time she too dealt with body image issues, made some serious mistakes growing up and still isn't always what people expect her to be. She swears and flails and goes against the norms. Shes also passionate and caring and a fierce fighter I wouldn't want to meet in a back alley debate (or behind a dumpster, Im fairly certain she'd kick my ass in a heartbeat. Well maybe not, but why take that risk?). She tries new things, cherishes old things and doesn't miss an opportunity to help other people.

I know what you're thinking, "Ok Jodi, once again you've rambled on and on this time about some fucking weird girl crush you seem to have (which, by the way, may earn you a restraining order and a talking to from some nice men in blue). Are you going to bring us to some kind of point or just keep gushing like a teeny bopper at a Bieber concert?"

So I bring you, My Point. You never know who you're going to inspire or why. You also never know who is going to inspire you. My Mental Mentor Im sure has no idea I think so highly of her and I don't want our dynamic to change so chances of me telling her are probably slim, (unless you know she reads this and figures it out... Umm HI! Ha, yeah... soooo sup? Me? Nothin... Im cool (For the love of god be cool Jodi) (Parenthesis inside parenthesis inside parenthesis? Did I just break the english language?)).

The people we look up to don't have to be rich or famous, they just have to be able to inspire us to be better then we were the day before.

Social Media Gets Social

What do Vanilla Ice, nuts, screaming children, vodka and twitter all have in common?

Well nothing really, but all did make an appearance tonight at Bingemans E Night!

Ok, so Vanilla Ice himself didn't actually make an appearance, however I did win this super fly button from 1991:

Admit it, you're jealous.

While the children ran screaming through the FunWorx indoor play structure, us parents sat upstairs discussing nuts like mature adults. Did you know if you over handle your nuts they can become sticky? I hate when that happens, don't you?

What? You thought? You dirty bird! We were discussing the advantages of soapnuts for laundry and cleaning purposes. My god people! Seriously! (If youre curious talk to Tracy at www.barleysugarcreations.com, she can tell you everything about nuts!)

Being the full on twitter addicts that we all are, Bingemans set up a giant screen with a constant feed of all the posts featuring the BingemansENight hashtag. I learned a very valuable lesson from this, there is a reason that people have to choose to follow me. I'm kind of like that funny yet inappropriate aunt that blurts things out without thinking, I just happen to do it in a way that will be forever recorded electronically. Luckily, I'm also lovable and cute therefore easily forgiven (and really, secretly, most of you think like me... muwahahaha welcome to the dark side bitches!).

Early on I offered up a full on High Five to anyone who could provide me with a cough drop, I also tweeted out my dream of my girl Dee (www.cocktaildeeva.com) showing up with a flask to help save me from the horrors of sobriety while surrounded by screaming children. When Dee showed up with cough drops, booze and some of the cutest kids this side of the border, I was so shocked and thrilled I forgot to give her her high five! Yes, she brought me vodka. Yes, I do love her.

Free pizza, pop, chips, playing, vitamins, jelly beans, return passes for FunWorx AND I got to meet and mingle with some wonderful folks! Could this night have been any better? Ok, Vanilla Ice could have actually been there, that would have been awesome! But yeah... moving on. I'm totally going to do some name dropping as thank yous now so if you're not into name dropping have a great one and enjoy this orgasm for the ears http://tinyurl.com/4k2y3qo ... the rest of you here comes my thanks for the evening!

Carolyn Marsh (@carolynreyna) and Breanne Cram (@bgirlbre) from Bingemans for organizing this great night!

IronKids Gummies (@KidsGummyMum) for the full sized bottle of vitamins in our swag bags!

Diane (@1ofthose2girls) and Lisa (@Those2Girls) of Those 2 Girls or getting me the invite and helping network us together!

Kristina (@Khrystena), Craig (@BigDaddyKreativ), Wendy (@Mapsgirl), Tracy (@BarleySugar), Dee (@CocktailDeeva), Michelle (@hullabaloo519), Jenn (@MrsWookie), Erin (@transitionphoto), Jen (@Beauty_By_Jen) and SO many more folks who came out (even though I didn't get to say hi to everyone) and made my night just that much more fun!

Anyone I may have missed, it was totally unintentional, there was just so much awesome in one place it was hard to keep track of it all!

More then 140

I can tweet (Oh lord can I tweet!), but can I blog?

I guess were about to find out.

Living life 140 characters at a time is easy for me, maybe too easy, ok far too easy. I am constantly attached to my twitter, CONSTANTLY. Laptop, phone, ipod, one is always on me and twitter is never signed out.

My life has become so succinct I no longer need paragraphs or even full sentences. Punctuation is a thing of the past and hashtags offer a quick and easy way to wrap up any thought #LikeThisOne #Tada

Now I'm not one of those self-proclaimed twitter gurus or experts or ninjas (though I am a ninja, but thats a whole other post!). I won't tell you how to tweet or that you're tweeting wrong (however, if you're using a service that allows you to tweet more then 140 characters at a time you might be missing the point a little). I just know that Im not good at sentence structure, punctuation or not making a fucking mess of the English language, so 140 characters works for me.

At this point i'd like to inform you my addiction has required me to check my twitter approximately 12 times up to now while writing this. I think I might have an addiction. Is there Tweeters Anonymous?

I proudly go to #tweetups and have met some of my best friends on twitter. Not to mention the self-esteem boost I get knowing almost 700 people care about what I have to say (Ok probably more like 100 people and 600 bots that follow me because I talk about boobs and poutine and booze a lot, I choose to ignore that). I have had roughly 33,000 independent (or re-tweeted whatever) 140 character thoughts. I didn't even know I was capable of so much thought! Who thinks that much? My god I must be some kind of genius!

I now can say I know people from all over the world and right next door, and some that were right next door and now are way the hell across the ocean (Looking at you @Brettstersview... looking at you). I am often introduced to people as KarmicEvolution, which is much cooler then my actual name - Jodi, and also makes me glad I no longer use the internet handle PlayboySparkleBunny6969. When I talk about people its usually followed by "you know @________ on twitter" and when I have a problem with a company my first resort is usually a well placed @reply.

I am a proud Twitter junkie, and for some god forsaken reason I have decided to blog. This could get messy, bring your boots... and beer.