Define: Irony

Hot on the heels of my confession to all of you that I live my life 140 characters at a time and that I make a complete fuckery of the English language most days, I have become employed, as a copy writer.

Not only a copy writer, but a copy writer for a company that hosts niche job postings.

Yup, the long term unemployed, self proclaimed grammar failure is now writing about how to get a job for a living.

So I rapidly attempted to cram 10 years of English classes back into my brain. Colons, sentence structure, semi colons, paragraphs, and using a thesaurus to find a professional way to say "Don't dress like streetwalker when you drop off your resume.". Ahhh, the life of the employed!

Things that I learned while re-cramming my brain:

  • The colon at the end of the previous sentence IS in fact being used correctly!
  • "Fuckery" is not in the dictionary OR thesaurus!
  • Things look FAR more professional when you use bullet points.
  • I am easily distracted when webpages have flashy ads.
  • I'm an expert at the art of the run on sentence mostly due to laziness and "dont-give-a-damn-itis".

Well this oughta be one hell of an adventure. Anyone want to take bets on how long before they discover my deep, dark, English language fuckery secret?

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