Miracle Fish

My friend Sara has a fish.

Out of his family of fishies, he was the only one to survive more then 24 hours.

He was spared from death somehow and named Ninja.

One day Ninja stopped swimming, fell to his side and the worst was expected. For two weeks food was dropped directly beside his head to encourage him to eat and then suddenly, he began to swim again! It was a miracle!

This fish had defied death TWICE!

Knowing nothing of his history but wanting to know how he could survive both a fish mass plague death and a targeted illness, Sara started seeking answers. Maybe someone from Ninjas past could fill in the blanks on this remarkable self-healing fish. Then one day a fish was found baring a remarkable similarity to Ninja. Could this be a long lost brother? Could Ninja in fact be... Swedish?

Give It Away Give It Away Give It Away Now

My blog isn't a giveaway blog. I'm also not PR friendly 99% of the time, so this probably isn't going change. However after my awesome time at Bingemans E Night, I emailed them and requested that they let me brag about them and show them off like a proud mama by letting some of you have some fun there too!

Yes I asked them... they did not come to me. They are that good... and about to get better! They are expanding and renovating both inside FunworX and outside where they are adding 5 NEW WATER SLIDES! OMG is it summer yet?! Oh and did I mention they are wifi equipped now? Thats right, let the kids run wild while you tweet, facebook, check your email or look up new cocktail recipes for when you get home after listening to screaming children for a few hours.

But what about my child-free friends? Y'all deserve some fun time too! Date night? Girls night? Boys night? Honestly, what would be more fun then a night of glow in the dark mini golf? Nothing! Thats right!

So heres the details!

Bingemans has given me FOUR passes for the FunworX indoor play area (40 dollar value) for your kids! Want them? I bet you do! Here's how you win them!

• Go to www.bingemans.com and then leave a comment here about something your kids would be super excited to try out! (don't forget a way to contact you!)
• "Like" My Accidental Life on Facebook and comment on he wall for an extra entry
• Invite your friends to like My Accidental Life on Facebook and make sure they tell me who sent them for another extra entry
• Follow My Accidental Life here on blogger for an extra entry

In each of these instances make sure you mention the word KIDDO!

Bingemans has also given me FOUR Hole In Fun glow-in-the-dark mini golf passes (40 dollar value) for an adult fun night! Double Date, Girls Night, Boys Night! Want these passes? You bet you do! Heres how you get these ones!

• Tell me what you would do with the passes! (don't forget a way to contact you!)
• "Like" My Accidental Life on Facebook and comment on the wall for an extra entry
• Invite your friends to like My Accidental Life on Facebook and make sure they tell me who sent them for another extra entry
• Follow My Accidental Life here on blogger for an extra entry

In each of these instances make sure you mention the words NIGHT OUT!

You can enter for either the mini golf passes OR the FunworX passes, not both. Winners will be chosen by random.org on Friday February 4, 2011. Please remember Bingemans is located in Kitchener, Ontario.

Maybe if you're lucky, you'll play some games and win a Funky Fly Vanilla Ice button like I did!

Social Media Gets Social

What do Vanilla Ice, nuts, screaming children, vodka and twitter all have in common?

Well nothing really, but all did make an appearance tonight at Bingemans E Night!

Ok, so Vanilla Ice himself didn't actually make an appearance, however I did win this super fly button from 1991:

Admit it, you're jealous.

While the children ran screaming through the FunWorx indoor play structure, us parents sat upstairs discussing nuts like mature adults. Did you know if you over handle your nuts they can become sticky? I hate when that happens, don't you?

What? You thought? You dirty bird! We were discussing the advantages of soapnuts for laundry and cleaning purposes. My god people! Seriously! (If youre curious talk to Tracy at www.barleysugarcreations.com, she can tell you everything about nuts!)

Being the full on twitter addicts that we all are, Bingemans set up a giant screen with a constant feed of all the posts featuring the BingemansENight hashtag. I learned a very valuable lesson from this, there is a reason that people have to choose to follow me. I'm kind of like that funny yet inappropriate aunt that blurts things out without thinking, I just happen to do it in a way that will be forever recorded electronically. Luckily, I'm also lovable and cute therefore easily forgiven (and really, secretly, most of you think like me... muwahahaha welcome to the dark side bitches!).

Early on I offered up a full on High Five to anyone who could provide me with a cough drop, I also tweeted out my dream of my girl Dee (www.cocktaildeeva.com) showing up with a flask to help save me from the horrors of sobriety while surrounded by screaming children. When Dee showed up with cough drops, booze and some of the cutest kids this side of the border, I was so shocked and thrilled I forgot to give her her high five! Yes, she brought me vodka. Yes, I do love her.

Free pizza, pop, chips, playing, vitamins, jelly beans, return passes for FunWorx AND I got to meet and mingle with some wonderful folks! Could this night have been any better? Ok, Vanilla Ice could have actually been there, that would have been awesome! But yeah... moving on. I'm totally going to do some name dropping as thank yous now so if you're not into name dropping have a great one and enjoy this orgasm for the ears http://tinyurl.com/4k2y3qo ... the rest of you here comes my thanks for the evening!

Carolyn Marsh (@carolynreyna) and Breanne Cram (@bgirlbre) from Bingemans for organizing this great night!

IronKids Gummies (@KidsGummyMum) for the full sized bottle of vitamins in our swag bags!

Diane (@1ofthose2girls) and Lisa (@Those2Girls) of Those 2 Girls or getting me the invite and helping network us together!

Kristina (@Khrystena), Craig (@BigDaddyKreativ), Wendy (@Mapsgirl), Tracy (@BarleySugar), Dee (@CocktailDeeva), Michelle (@hullabaloo519), Jenn (@MrsWookie), Erin (@transitionphoto), Jen (@Beauty_By_Jen) and SO many more folks who came out (even though I didn't get to say hi to everyone) and made my night just that much more fun!

Anyone I may have missed, it was totally unintentional, there was just so much awesome in one place it was hard to keep track of it all!

FIRE! HA! Psych!

The alternate title for this post could certainly be "Why I Pee My Pants Once A Month" or even possibly "Oops Your Dead!".

Every month my building runs a fire alarm check, usually mid-morning, usually on a mid-week day. Since I do the whole stay-at-home mom thing and we're NOT morning people, were usually home. So these mornings are like any other mornings until suddenly there is a piercing, earth shattering, high pitched screaming alarm, shrieking its way directly into my brain.

Now in all fairness, there is normally a notice posted about when these alarms will occur, but not always. They're also not always posted in a place everyone looks. For those of us who have lived in the building for years and know the laundry schedules and office hours and emergency contact numbers we don't really have any need to read the superintendents board. Plus I live in a building with lots of kids, who despite being at school when it happens, get some perverse kick out of knowing they took down the warning sign from th

e elevator and half the building jumped out of their skin at 11am.

The problem with this is that I have become accustomed to it, well after the initial blast that is. Being morning nappers, we've actually slept through these alarms on occasion, which could be a bit problematic should there ever be a real fire while were napping.

The first few times I grabbed the baby, a blanket and my keys and phone as I bolted out the door and down the stairs. Without fail i'd get half way down the stairs and the alarm would stop. Panting and sweating from the run and adrenaline, I would drag myself back up the stairs and collapse on the floor.

Now though, I occasionally wait and see if people run screaming from the building. I'm sure were all seeing how this could be an issue. Maybe I should invest in some fire gear, or continue to run down the stairs like a fool once a month.

My Night-Dream-Mare Coming True

I always wanted a daughter. Bows and frills and dollies and kittens and everything pink... *sigh*

I may have forgotten one tiny little girl related thing. Well not so tiny really. A multi-million dollar, must have, world wide thing.

The Disney Princesses.

Now i'll give them this, the new princesses seem to be less "help me" and more "girl power", but how realistic are they really? Catherine The Great was a princess. Diana Spencer was a princess. Mermaids? Not princesses... either way...

Today our first piece of Disney Princess merchandise entered the house in the form of a Cinderella toothbrush. This is what I get for letting the child choose her own teeth cleaning instrument. She's never shown any interest in princesses before, in fact originally she wanted the Pooh Bear toothbrush. Being the relaxed laid back mom that I am, I let her choose her own toothbrush (yeah I know, OMG! So much freedom!). So many choices, hell I even would have been happy with that annoying little adventurer Dora, but NO - "Princess Mummy!".

How do you say no to that? 1 - Its a toothbrush 2 - She needed a toothbrush 3 - She's a curly headed, big eyed, sweet voiced, 2 year old who can easily make you forget occasionally her head spins around while she growls Exorcist style.

So now, three times a day me and this lovely lady have a date... then I turn back into a pumpkin.

Define: Irony

Hot on the heels of my confession to all of you that I live my life 140 characters at a time and that I make a complete fuckery of the English language most days, I have become employed, as a copy writer.

Not only a copy writer, but a copy writer for a company that hosts niche job postings.

Yup, the long term unemployed, self proclaimed grammar failure is now writing about how to get a job for a living.

So I rapidly attempted to cram 10 years of English classes back into my brain. Colons, sentence structure, semi colons, paragraphs, and using a thesaurus to find a professional way to say "Don't dress like streetwalker when you drop off your resume.". Ahhh, the life of the employed!

Things that I learned while re-cramming my brain:

• The colon at the end of the previous sentence IS in fact being used correctly!
• "Fuckery" is not in the dictionary OR thesaurus!
• Things look FAR more professional when you use bullet points.
• I am easily distracted when webpages have flashy ads.
• I'm an expert at the art of the run on sentence mostly due to laziness and "dont-give-a-damn-itis".

Well this oughta be one hell of an adventure. Anyone want to take bets on how long before they discover my deep, dark, English language fuckery secret?

More then 140

I can tweet (Oh lord can I tweet!), but can I blog?

I guess were about to find out.

Living life 140 characters at a time is easy for me, maybe too easy, ok far too easy. I am constantly attached to my twitter, CONSTANTLY. Laptop, phone, ipod, one is always on me and twitter is never signed out.

My life has become so succinct I no longer need paragraphs or even full sentences. Punctuation is a thing of the past and hashtags offer a quick and easy way to wrap up any thought #LikeThisOne #Tada

Now I'm not one of those self-proclaimed twitter gurus or experts or ninjas (though I am a ninja, but thats a whole other post!). I won't tell you how to tweet or that you're tweeting wrong (however, if you're using a service that allows you to tweet more then 140 characters at a time you might be missing the point a little). I just know that Im not good at sentence structure, punctuation or not making a fucking mess of the English language, so 140 characters works for me.

At this point i'd like to inform you my addiction has required me to check my twitter approximately 12 times up to now while writing this. I think I might have an addiction. Is there Tweeters Anonymous?

I proudly go to #tweetups and have met some of my best friends on twitter. Not to mention the self-esteem boost I get knowing almost 700 people care about what I have to say (Ok probably more like 100 people and 600 bots that follow me because I talk about boobs and poutine and booze a lot, I choose to ignore that). I have had roughly 33,000 independent (or re-tweeted whatever) 140 character thoughts. I didn't even know I was capable of so much thought! Who thinks that much? My god I must be some kind of genius!

I now can say I know people from all over the world and right next door, and some that were right next door and now are way the hell across the ocean (Looking at you @Brettstersview... looking at you). I am often introduced to people as KarmicEvolution, which is much cooler then my actual name - Jodi, and also makes me glad I no longer use the internet handle PlayboySparkleBunny6969. When I talk about people its usually followed by "you know @________ on twitter" and when I have a problem with a company my first resort is usually a well placed @reply.

I am a proud Twitter junkie, and for some god forsaken reason I have decided to blog. This could get messy, bring your boots... and beer.